Sample #2

Creating a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

We tend to create what we think about.  You can use this amazing power to your advantage, or it can work against you.  I had a mentor many years ago who told me that he tended to just assume things would work out, and they generally did for him.  He still had many challenges and things didn’t always work out well, but he always appeared fairly happy and positive, at least on the outside.

All the things that people have ever created came from thoughts.  You are your thoughts.  That’s what seems to make us different from the other living things on Earth.  Your thoughts are the start of everything you have ever created and will create, both physically and emotionally.  Given that, what you think about will tend to become your reality.

This can be a real problem if your thoughts tend to be negative, pessimistic, and worried.  These thoughts come from fear, and if you let them control you, you’ll just tend to bring about what it is that you fear.  For example, let’s say a person is afraid that other people won’t like himself or herself.  Let’s also assume that they are not any different from anyone else…this fear of not being well liked is just a story they tell themselves, a program they received from somewhere, years ago.  Of course, the reality is that they are actually pretty darn normal, but because they still have this worry that they are not liked or are not going to be liked by others, they create what they are worried about.  You see, this fear can easily translate into actions that make them appear awkward, needy, or confrontational around others, which causes others to feel uncomfortable around them, which causes others to stay distant, which confirms their self-created fear that they are unlikable.  Think about a time when you were young and there was a mean or awkward kid on the playground.  This is exactly what’s happening.  The child is worried no one will like him.  Maybe he’s used to being treated harshly at home by a family member, or perhaps he doesn’t have the relationship with mom or dad that he wants.  Whatever the reason, this fear that the child has causes him to behave awkwardly, meanly, or sadly on the playground, so others naturally leave him alone or stay away from him, thus confirming his fear that he isn't likable.  He brought about this result from his own behavior, whether he’s aware of it or not.  If he’d only been kind and natural around the other children, he’d just be one of the crowd, but now he’s got this reputation he’s created, and that reputation is going to be a challenge for him because others will just treat him as he expected to be treated.  But it didn’t have to be this way.

Do you know someone who is always sad, worried, angry, or unhappy?  How did you get that feeling about them?  They created it, that’s how.  They are probably not your first choice for a friend, and that’s exactly what they were worried would happen.

Do you know someone who is generally happy, kind, and friendly?  How did you get that feeling about them?  They created it, that’s how.  You’ll probably pick them first for a friend, which is probably what they expected.

The next time you are a crowded place like school or the shopping mall, take a few minutes and just watch people.  Note how they look and behave.  What expressions do they have?  What is the overall sense you get from them?  Who is happy and who is sad?  You’ll see it’s easy to tell what vibe they give off before you’ve even met them.  If they have a negative vibe, would it be easy for you to just go talk to them?

Take some time and look in the mirror at yourself.  What kind of vibe to you have? Are you a person who others will tend toward or away from?  We are mirrors for how we want to be treated.  If you really think back in your life, I’m guessing you’ll have lots of memories of times when you created a result you didn’t like simply because you worried about it so much that you allowed it to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can probably also think of lots of times where being happy, friendly, kind, and supportive of others created a result that you were really satisfied with.

I could suggest here that you ask a trusted friend for their honest opinion about your vibe, and you could certainly do that—but you already know.  We know.  Sometimes we just need to be in the right mental place to look at ourselves, but we know.

So, what if you do decide that your vibe is a bit on the negative side?  Well, then you have some soul searching to do.  It’s your thinking that is creating your reality, and it’s your thinking that is the solution…the question is how to change your thinking. You’ll find that all over in this book of my Notes of a Father.  You’ll have to look for it, but once you see it, once you really get it, you’ll see it everywhere in plain sight—and not just in this little book—you’ll see opportunities everywhere, every day, places you can easily shift your thinking just a little to create the amazing life I know is possible for you.  It can just become a habit to think positively.  In fact, that’s your natural state—it’s how you were when you were born.  I was there.  I’ve seen the greatness in you.  It is unmistakable.

We are in control, whether we realize it or not.  That’s an incredible power you have. Why not choose to use this power to bring about the things, people, and relationships in your life that you want?  I know you can do it.